Lies to Myself

Negative thoughts, shortcomings —
long have I seen myself
through my own eyes,
lack of physical attraction
has patterned my life
with question marks and whys.

Inadequate you say —
if you really only knew
the torture, the agony, the pain —
the story,
despite only briefly told,
has always been the same.

Why couldn’t I have had it all —
beauty, friends, and personality —
oh, how I love to dream,
but somehow
I can’t escape reality.

Now I am looking through the eyes of another,
and I can’t believe
they are all I would dream to be,
and yet
they feel inadequate,
just like me.

Negative thoughts, shortcomings —
long have I seen myself
through my own eyes,
lack of physical attraction
has patterned my life
with question marks and whys
and now I know —
they have all been lies.